
I’ve never had a bucket list – I can’t think that I am alone in having the unrealistic and unlikely belief that I, uniquely among the human race, am immortal. If I had a strong faith I would presumably believe that I was going on to a better (or maybe worse) place, but whilst I’d like to think that, I’m not entirely convinced and in the meantime I can’t believe that that I’m going to leave this life, particularly not while it is so much fun. But back to bucket lists. As is my wont I spotted a ridiculous story in the press the other day about a terminally ill man who mooned a police speed camera because it was on his bucket list! That struck me as being so sad – if he had wanted to moon a bus full of ladies on a WI outing who might have been a bit shocked, I could have, sort of, understood that, but a police speed camera. And, of course the police who nowadays seem to be singularly lacking in a sense in humour went in like gang busters in large numbers and wrestled the wretched man to the ground and probably tasered him too for good measure.
Why is it called a bucket list? Presumably because it is made up of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. But it has made me think about it for the first time and consider what, if anything, might be on mine.
One thing might be to finish A La Recherche du Temps Perdu by Marcel Proust, I have it on audiobook and I believe that the entire thing is over 70 hours worth of listening, He is the most brilliant but also verbose writer, he never used one word if he could cram in a hundred. I listen while I’m taking the dogs for a walk and have managed about four hours so far! I have done quite a few of the things I wanted to do such as had a book published, learnt another language, won a prize for the biggest marrow in a local pub show, watched humpback whales off the coast of Nantucket and I also started, and continued to write this blog! Obviously, some things are now out of time like winning Wimbledon, which I have never wanted to do or winning the Nobel Prize for Literature which I might have dreamed about. Others like sky diving or running for Parliament I have never fancied even if they might in theory still be possible. An old friend of mine went up in a hot air balloon for her 90th birthday, hopefully if I reach that age I will be drinking a glass of champagne with my feet firmly on the ground not sitting toothless in a care home surrounded by family telling me I’m marvellous because I can still manage to suck on a bit of cake!
But Marcel Proust aside, what else might be on my bucket list? The trouble is things like staying healthy and not falling over (or indeed having a fall – there’s a subtle difference there. Everyone falls over, but only the old ‘have a fall’!) are on going! See my grandchildren grow up and be happy is certainly my greatest wish, but not something I can control. If I leave them some money when I die (if you’re reading this don’t get your hopes up) it might make them happy but would hardly be a bucket list item as I won’t be there to see them raise a glass to me.
So there it is, (Marcel Proust aside) an empty bucket list – although maybe I should get another Labrador puppy!!!