Has Anyone Seen My Glasses

Has Anyone Seen My Glasses?

Trying to survive old age

  • The More I Think the More Confused I Get.

    September 6, 2020 by

    It’s not necessary for us oldies to understand everything that goes on in the modern world, but one doesn’t want to live life in a state of total confusion.   We have little Tuk Tuks for tourists round our way which seem to me to be more useful and more fun that Tik Tok, but then… Read more


    August 23, 2020 by

    What with the heatwave, grandchildren and the autumn harvest my few remaining brain cells have gone into meltdown and are hiding in the dark recesses of my brain. Like the Elephant’s Child I was born with satiable curtiosities. Kind people might refer to this as taking an intelligent interest in things, but unfortunately owing to… Read more

  • If I’m not Woke, please don’t wake me!

    July 20, 2020 by

    I think I’d really prefer to stay asleep.   Living in a rural part of England our main topics of conversation as we idly pick straw from our hair are usually about chickens or fly-tipping.  Subjects we find fascinating.   But I have always led a rich fantasy life.   As a child I was constantly rescuing people… Read more

  • Would Mr Darcy send a Dick Pic?

    June 24, 2020 by

    In the days of Jane Austen courtship was a gentler and more elegant affair (albeit possibly more commercial – pity the poor girl who was destined to remain a spinster or become a governess). After Mr Darcy proposes to Eliza Bennett and has been turned down he writes her a letter which he hands her… Read more

  • Common Sense is not so Common.

    May 17, 2020 by

    Graduates from the University of Stating the Bleeding Obvious.  Now there’s a pandemic.   So much that ‘research shows’ or ‘scientists claim’ appears to be simple common sense. For example, we’re told that people in care homes are more vulnerable to this virus – what exhaustive research went into finding that out?  Every death is a… Read more

  • The Past is a Foreign Country

    May 3, 2020 by

    When I think back to my childhood and compare it to life today I can’t imagine how any of us thrived.   How the world has changed – Not so long ago I was sitting in my office listening to Radio 4 discussing periods, vulvas and vaginas!   I very much doubt that my parents ever discussed… Read more

  • Grumpy Old Woman

    April 19, 2020 by

    This Spring, amidst the virus, I’m definitely channelling my inner grumpy old woman.    The list of things that make me grumpy grows daily. People wearing masks and gloves and then picking over fruit and veg with them on as if just wearing the gloves makes them safe.   Then driving off still wearing the gloves.   And… Read more

  • You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever

    March 22, 2020 by

     I started writing this in those distant days before the dreaded virus hit us!   Now that the first feelings of shell-shock and fear have dissipated somewhat and the human spirit is beginning to triumph in lots of small ways I thought that I would attempt to finish this and then moving forward try to find… Read more

  • Older and Wiser?

    February 24, 2020 by

    I‘d like to think old age does bring wisdom.   The Chinese have great respect for the elderly but in this country it is only too easy to become invisible and ignored with age.   I’m determined that won’t happen to me so this year I’m trying to learn new things.   To be precise – two new… Read more


    February 9, 2020 by

    Emojis – What’s the Emoji for ‘What the f*** does this mean?  If you Google emojis to try and find out what they are trying to say they give you helpful definitions such as ‘Grinning Face’, ‘Grinning Face with big eyes’, ‘Grinning face with smiling eyes’ and finally ’Beaming face with smiling eyes’  That is… Read more

  • FOMO vs JOMO

    February 2, 2020 by

    I only learnt what FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) meant a few years ago, but now there is the even better JOMO (Joy of Missing Out).   That wonderful feeling when you know you’ve got an evening in front of the fire with a good book and don’t have to go and have drinks with the… Read more

  • Age Inappropriate

    January 6, 2020 by

    So, Christmas has come and gone – all jolly good fun and filled with family but it seems to put the rest of life on hold for at least a month.   If, heaven help you, a plumber or electrician is required, it will always have to be in the New Year.   Thank goodness for our… Read more

  • The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes.

    November 17, 2019 by

    Dirty, smelly, noisy – no, these are not the three dwarves that Snow White rejected but adjectives that describe the countryside.   I am a farmer’s daughter and I played in mud as a child and I live with mud as an adult.   I’m used to mud and noise and smells.   I know that some people… Read more

  • If you really want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.

    October 8, 2019 by

    Do you think that God sits up on a cloud and looks down on the world in despair?   He must have some way of relieving his stress and I don’t imagine that he wiles away the hours playing celestial solitaire.   I think he amuses himself by playing tricks on us.   In every place I have… Read more

  • I’m Not Pouting, I’m Plotting

    September 27, 2019 by

    I’ve always been a bit of an insomniac and when I can’t sleep I try to plot the perfect murder instead of counting sheep (I never quite understood how that was supposed to work – have you ever tried to count sheep, it is incredibly difficult, they keep moving about)    I watch quite a lot… Read more

  • Show me yours and I’ll show you mine!

    September 16, 2019 by

    Apparently if you ask young people today what they want to be when they grow up many of them will say ‘a celebrity’ as if being a celebrity was a career in itself.   They have programmes such as Celebrity Come Dancing and Celebrity Bake Off and, sad old bag that I am, I have usually… Read more

  • Stop the World I’m trying to get off!

    August 27, 2019 by

    I have come to the conclusion that we don’t get dementia as we get older, it is the world that goes mad. There was a headline in the Daily Telegraph this week saying that a doctor had been sacked for refusing to call a six foot bearded man madam. A friend of mine has her… Read more

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