Sometimes it feels as though life just has it in for you. We have all been through it for the last couple of years and just when you are beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel the Grinch in the form of Omicron jumps up to bite you. The news is nothing but depressing whether it is the latest Covid figures or yet another horrible murder. I used to listen to the radio all day long but no longer – it fills me with gloom. I have just heard that the latest symptoms for Omicron are that of the common cold – surely somewhere along the line we have to start to treat it like the common cold. Most people are fairly sensible when they have a cold and don’t try to infect their friends and family. Isn’t it time to apply some common sense to this disease? There are, of course, quite a few idiots who won’t be vaccinated – these range from the terrified who believe that the vaccine is untried to the loonies who think that it is inserting a slow acting poison into us and that we are all going to die within the next two years or, even odder, that the injection is just a way for Bill Gates to implant a microchip into us! Quite apart from the fact that a microchip hasn’t yet been invented that could go down a needle that fine, why on earth would Bill Gates want to do this?
Is it a legal requirement this brave new ‘woke’ world to have one’s sense of humour surgically removed? So many of things that we used to laugh at have now become unthinkable and conversely there are endless things that people take seriously but I have to supress a snort of laughter. Take, for example, the item I heard on Radio 4 – home of the woke, humour free zone – about Mich Fest – this turns out to be The Michegan Womyn’s Music Festival. The reporter described, in tones of wonder, arriving there to discover all these women sitting round bare-breasted and she immediately stripped off and joined them as they frolicked in the woods – unfortunately I couldn’t get an image of Benny Hill out of my mind – completely with the frenetic music. To add to the fun a couple of transgender ‘womyn’ turned up and were thrown out – I don’t know if they were actually six foot three bearded ‘self-identifying’ women or not but obviously something gave them away. Not be defeated they turned up the following year to make a camp across the road where everyone was included – except presumably actual men.
The other story that appealed to my base sense of humour was that of the barrister who has taken his company to court for some form of discrimination because he was on medication for his heart that meant he was unable to stop breaking wind. He was sharing a very small office with a colleague who at one point said, not unreasonably, ‘Do you have to do that all the time?’ The company were reprimanded for this and told that they should have made arrangements for the farter to work from home. The alternative would have been to try and find a larger office or even, to kill two birds with one stone and comply with Covid guidelines, to keep the windows open even in winter for maximum ventilation. I have to say I am very sympathetic to the person afflicted with constantly breaking wind – something that happens naturally as you age and can cause great embarrassment – however did it really have to be brought before a tribunal?
However. we must strive to find things to laugh at during the festive season and beyond into 2022 – if we just listen to the doom mongers and the scientists we will all be gibbering wrecks before too long – if we aren’t already. So Happy Christmas to all those kind people who have bothered to read this nonsense and even been kind enough to post a comment.