People boast that they want to grow old disgracefully – as the poem says:  When I am an old woman I shall wear purpleWith a red hat which doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me.And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer glovesAnd satin sandals, and say we’ve no money for butter.I shall sit… Read more

I must be mad – there is no need to comment on that!!!   I’ve bought a puppy.   A black Labrador to join my other three.   Puppies are adorable, who doesn’t love a puppy?   Well, actually – me!   I love my dogs when they are all grown up and reasonably well behaved – although I’m not… Read more

As a child I assumed that everybody wrote it was only as I grew older that I realised only some of us write everything down and think in stories.   I believed I was going to write heart-rending and dramatic novels.  My intention was to move my readers to tears – unfortunately in the case of… Read more

In this very troubled world one of my favourite forms of escapism is listening to old radio drama and I’m particularly fond of the Paul Temple mysteries.   Paul Temple was the archetypal hero, he was a rich and successful author and an amateur sleuth who was consulted regularly by the head of Scotland Yard, Sir… Read more

They used to say Laugh and the World laughs with you, weep and you weep alone, but now it seems to be more that misery loves company.   We all know that disasters sell more newspapers than good news.   With my penchant for apt quotations I like the one in Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina that says:    … Read more

What’s wrong with Skin deep?  What do people want, a pretty pancreas?  A lovely liver? One of the joys of getting older is that looks cease to matter that much.   Anyone can keep up their standards if they want to, but they do it for themselves (or for their career if they are in the… Read more

Seventy odd years ago the world was a simpler place because there was so much we didn’t know.   We were past the point where doctors actually recommended cigarettes to calm the nerves, but nobody turned a hair to someone smoking whilst pregnant.   As for foetal alcohol syndrome we’d never heard of it.   Everyone I knew… Read more

Sweet Mystery of Life at last I’ve found you.   Oh no, I haven’t, quite the contrary – the mystery seems to deepen on a daily basis.  But who could possibly have found the mystery of life?  Stephen Hawkings?  Einstein?  I don’t even understand how electricity works.   Why doesn’t it leak out of the sockets when… Read more

Probably everyone knows that Oscar Wildes’s last words were supposed to have been ‘Either that wallpaper goes or I do.’   This is almost certainly not true but a famous wit like Oscar Wilde couldn’t possibly be allowed to die without a bon mot on his lips.   But leaving the realms of the apocryphal I thought… Read more

When in bed at night I often listen to podcasts about true crime and the other night I was listening to one about a serial killer.  My friends think this is weird – just carry on reading and you’ll find out things that are really weird – but I like them.   Tucked up safe and… Read more

It seems most unlikely that any parent sets out with the express intention of killing their children, but sometimes it appears as though that is what we did.   As a baby I assume that I was left to cry until my parents heard me – there were certainly no baby monitors about – although to… Read more

Obfuscation is a good word.   According to the dictionary it means “the action of making something obscure, unclear, or unintelligible. An example being: “when confronted with sharp questions they resort to obfuscation” This seems to me to be exactly the case when celebrity couples announce that they are divorcing.   “It’s completely amicable” they say, “we still love… Read more

In the world we live in today are we supposed to talk about ‘person’s’ best friend?  It is all a bit ridiculous.   When I talk about ‘Man’ or ‘Mankind’ I mean the human race.   When I talk about dogs it is an inclusive term for dogs and bitches.   Technically I don’t have any dogs, I… Read more

I’m definitely going potty. Nothing new there then.  I read the newspapers in total incomprehension most of the time.    There are words and phrases I simply don’t understand.   A TERF for example.   I have Googled it and it stands for Transgender Exclusionary Radical Feminist – whatever that is!   And who knows what ARFID is –… Read more

   If you dream you’ve found a toilet, don’t use it.   What a great piece of advice.   It hasn’t happened to me so far, but with age and the necessity of getting up in the middle of the night it can only be a question of time!   Sir Thomas Beecham famously said that you should… Read more

Procrastination is an excellent word. The dictionary definition is:  To put off intentionally and intentionally the doing of something that should be done.   Should be done – that’s the key.   I prefer to call it displacement activity – after all I should clear out that drawer but on the other hand I probably don’t need… Read more

Umbrage – it’s a good word, it could be a town in Italy or a herb, one might ask ‘How is the sauce?’ and hear the reply ‘Very good, but it could do with a little more umbrage’.  However, taking umbrage is a common reaction today but it is difficult to know when one is… Read more

It can become more and more difficult to find things to laugh about as we get older – unless we discount accidentally seeing our reflection in a mirror!   We have to take our pleasures where we find them.  One of my favourite pastimes used to be eavesdropping – unfortunately even with my hearing aids in… Read more

Is it just me or do other people have fantasies of being in a position of power over someone who has somehow belittled them in the past?   The man you fancied who didn’t fancy you back or the sales assistant who looked down her nose as she said she didn’t think they would have anything… Read more

Life becomes more and more of a mystery to me as the years go by – some days I can waste hours looking for the pen that I was writing with a minute ago and that has now, inexplicably, vanished or the loaf of bread that I bought yesterday is nowhere to be found!   And… Read more

Now that is becoming easier to choose your identity I would like to identify as a Labrador.    What’s not to like about that – plenty of love, nice warm bed, lots of exercise and most important of all masses of food – not just what’s given to you but whatever you can steal as well..  … Read more

We took care of our children when they were young and needed us, but as soon as the table turns and we get old (at least in their eyes) they think we are incapable and want to interfere with our lives.   The is an ad on the radio where a man rings his mother ‘Hi… Read more

I’ve never had a bucket list – I can’t think that I am alone in having the unrealistic and unlikely belief that I, uniquely among the human race, am immortal.   If I had a strong faith I would presumably believe that I was going on to a better (or maybe worse) place, but whilst I’d… Read more

Doesn’t matter how depressed you are, a dog will always cheer you up – I have five black Labs – they are good natured, enthusiastic, loving and incredibly greedy and my youngest Incy is not just a glass half full dog, but a glass over-flowing dog!   At a trip to the Vet she’s ‘Oh goody,… Read more

Some people have hidden depths, but I think I have not very well disguised shallows.   I suffer from FTTTSD – Failure to take things seriously disorder.   I do try to concentrate on the more serious things in life but I am very easily distracted.   If I had been born seventy years later I would undoubtedly… Read more

We’ve always been a nation of moaners – nothing wrong with that – it’s good to ring up a friend and have a good moan, but whining is something else.   Moaning is cathartic, whining isn’t.   It doesn’t even sound nice.   People in romantic novels sometimes moan with pleasure (at least they did a hundred years… Read more

It’s a phrase you hear so often, particularly in my age group – The Good Old Days – things were so much better in the Old Days! But were they? Rose tinted hindsight can make us believe that everything about our youth was golden. Life was so much simpler then – in some ways it… Read more

When my son and grandchildren were little there was a breakthrough moment when they could dress themselves.   In the dark recesses of my memory I seem to recall a film about a man whose life goes backwards and he ends up as a baby.   Judging by the difficulty I have putting my socks on in… Read more

Sometimes it feels as though life just has it in for you.   We have all been through it for the last couple of years and just when you are beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel the Grinch in the form of Omicron jumps up to bite you.   The news is nothing… Read more

I’m willing to bet that nobody ever went to their death bed wishing that they’d spent more time watching day time television.   My mind has been quite sharply focused during the past day or two because of a near death experience.   The amazing wind recently brought down an enormous lime tree in front of my… Read more

Nothing keeps you on your toes like grandchildren.   They have a directness about them that one’s contemporaries don’t have.   None of my friends have ever asked when I’m going to die of if they can have something of mine after I’m dead.  They also have a fairly hazy concept of time – I was asked… Read more

The summer isn’t the best time to write – at least not while coming out of a pandemic. Or maybe that’s just me – the joy of seeing friends, of going to restaurants, shopping, travelling (at least within this country – I’m not sure I’m ready for abroad yet because I find the rules far… Read more

According to the dictionary the definition of a paradox is: a seemingly absurd or contradictory statement or proposition which when investigated may prove to be well founded or true.And: A two word paradox is an oxymoron. Got to love an Oxymoron for the name alone! *************** A classic contemporary paradox is the situation with the… Read more

I hate beauty products – they are expensive and they lie.   Apparently, beauty is only skin deep but what do people want – a pretty pancreas, an attractive appendix, a stunning spleen, a lovely liver?   I’m a very shallow person,  so skin deep will do for me.   Unfortunately (for my bank balance!) I’m one of… Read more

It didn’t happen overnight, but the realisation that I am a dinosaur has crept up on me over the past few years.   I was brought up in what now seem like prehistoric times.  My mother wasn’t around very much and we were in the charge of  Nanny and our territory was the nursery and anywhere… Read more

When Shakespeare wrote about the seven ages of man it seemed quite clear on the surface but when you look closely it is more like the seven ages of contradiction.   No sooner do you learn a new skill than it is all change.   When a baby burps the parents ooh and aah and congratulate the… Read more

Sex education at my school was a diagram drawn on the blackboard of rabbits mating.   I was brought up on a farm so I had some idea of what went on, but my generation were incredibly ignorant.     It took me years to work out what  lesbians could possibly do, although I did have a fantastic… Read more