Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk!

Nothing keeps you on your toes like grandchildren.   They have a directness about them that one’s contemporaries don’t have.   None of my friends have ever asked when I’m going to die of if they can have something of mine after I’m dead.  They also have a fairly hazy concept of time – I was asked …

Paradoxically Speaking.

According to the dictionary the definition of a paradox is: a seemingly absurd or contradictory statement or proposition which when investigated may prove to be well founded or true.And: A two word paradox is an oxymoron. Got to love an Oxymoron for the name alone! *************** A classic contemporary paradox is the situation with the …

Why do they call it beauty sleep when you wake up looking terrible?

I hate beauty products – they are expensive and they lie.   Apparently, beauty is only skin deep but what do people want – a pretty pancreas, an attractive appendix, a stunning spleen, a lovely liver?   I’m a very shallow person,  so skin deep will do for me.   Unfortunately (for my bank balance!) I’m one of …

If only closed minds came with closed mouths!

Sex education at my school was a diagram drawn on the blackboard of rabbits mating.   I was brought up on a farm so I had some idea of what went on, but my generation were incredibly ignorant.     It took me years to work out what  lesbians could possibly do, although I did have a fantastic …

Are you a town mouse or a country mouse?

Are you a country mouse or a town mouse or do you have a foot in both camps?  QUESTION         A          B C What kind of car do you drive?                       Latest spec 4 x 4 Five year old 4 x 4 Ancient Land Rover Defender What’s in the warming oven of your Aga? The …

Life is far too important to take seriously.

It will not come as a surprise to anyone who knows me to learn that I was a bit of a rebel at school.   In fact, I got expelled.    I was caught one evening in the Japanese Garden after I had persuaded Terry, the boy who delivered the meat, to come there and teach me …