UTTERLY CONFUSED.COM

This blog started as way for me to write about surviving old age in a modern and confusing world and hopefully make people smile.   That was several years ago and I’m still here, still surviving and still ranting about the numerous things that confuse, irritate or amuse me.   So, to start the New Year I thought I would go through a few of my New Year thoughts.   Of course, right off the bat,  it is no longer the start of the year – we are in February already – so where did January go – looking out of my window it looks as if it drowned.

Moving on, anyone who knows me knows I love dogs and social media is awash with people who own a dog and think that they can tell you how to train your dog.   From the ‘fur baby’ (whoever invented that expression should be shot) to the ‘I can tame a pit bull’ brigade, ‘experts’ pop up all over the place.     It is pick ‘n mix out there.    Use a long lead, use a short lead, use a harness, don’t use a lead at all.   From those who think you should never say no to your dog to the ones who advocate e-collars.   The world of the ‘influencer’ has got a lot to answer for.  I’m not sure what an influencer is but I think it is someone who manages to get thousands of followers on Tik Tok (or wherever) and then get paid to promote stuff.   Hence people who have owned a dog for about five minutes post ‘training’ videos!   A lot of it is aimed at people with rescued ‘reactive’ dogs.   Reactive dogs, along with much else, didn’t exist when I was young.   There were nasty, dangerous dogs, but people didn’t take them out and then shout at people with perfectly pleasant dogs who approached within fifty feet of them.  

As for stories in the newspapers: in the last few days I have come across the following stories that just confirm that I have probably lived beyond my sell by date!! 

A public school head was in court accused of misusing school funds.   In the school photograph from his job he looks perfectly normal but he attended court with shoulder length hair and wearing women’s clothes, although he appears to identify as male!  This in contrast to another person who turned up in court dressed up as a woman but with a full, dark beard and insisted on being addressed as Miss Potter and much to my surprise the judge agreed to this!   Perhaps he should have taken a leaf out of PG Wodehouse’s books where he had a character called ‘Catsmeat’ Potter-Pirbright and just referred to ‘Miss Potter’ as ‘Dogs dinner’.

And here is a selection of other stories from the last week.

A former police officer is suing Scotland Yard for £1 million because she has developed a phobia of police stations.

A scientist with anxiety has sued her employers after not being invited to the Christmas party.

A 47 year old man stole £28,000 from his mother, who had dementia, to buy Lego!

And another one – a woman murdered her (female) partner and buried her under the patio because she decided that she preferred men and her partner refused to change sex.  Or maybe it was gender.   Apparently, I’m a cis woman – what on earth does that mean?  I’ve been a woman all my life and suddenly (in certain circles) I’ve got ‘cis’ attached to my name!

Something that really bugs me is the habit companies have of asking you to revue them – sometimes before they have done anything apart from accept your order.   If you look on line you can see companies with five star revues on ease of ordering before the item has arrived.   And as we all know there is many a slip between ordering and receiving the flimsy dishrag that eventually arrives bearing absolutely no resemblance to the beautiful garment being modelled in the photograph on the website.

As for public figures – and we all know some of them – who, for some obscure reason, think that normal, decent behaviour doesn’t apply to them, that they are immune from accepted standards.   Do they imagine that they are invisible and that they can do whatever they want and no one will notice?   As the old saying goes, if you lie down with dogs don’t be surprised if you catch fleas.  

And finally, on the basis of you simply couldn’t make it up, a 24 year old French man caused major disruption in a hospital in Toulouse when he was admitted in great pain because he had inserted something into his rectum.   The hospital had to be evacuated and the bomb squad called as the object turned out to be a first world war shell.   Presumably the controlled explosion happened after the shell had been extricated from this unfortunate young man who, unsurprisingly, did not wish to be named.

I remain utterly confused.com.