I’ve lost my mind – I’m sure I had it a moment ago.

I’m definitely going potty. Nothing new there then.  I read the newspapers in total incomprehension most of the time.    There are words and phrases I simply don’t understand.   A TERF for example.   I have Googled it and it stands for Transgender Exclusionary Radical Feminist – whatever that is!   And who knows what ARFID is – again thanks to Google I know that it stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder.   What?   No, me neither.  

It is showing my age to admit that I enjoy watching repeats of Midsomer Murders and Poirot but they are on in the afternoon so I record them and watch them later.   All the ads are aimed at my generation and I am sure that it is only a matter of time before I start thinking that the mobility scooters are quite appealing and the bath with a seat that you can walk in and out of seems very desirable and that must be but a short step to sitting staring mindlessly at the screen all day.   As it is I waste a lot of time looking for objects that I had a moment ago but that have now moved only to be discovered hours later somewhere I swear I never put them.   I live by myself so I can’t accuse anyone of trying to gaslight me.   Life is confusing on so many levels.   We are, apparently aiming to live in a paperless society, but the junk mail I receive is probably the equivalent to a small forest.   And whereas computers are supposed to make things simpler – don’t get me wrong I love my computer and I’m far from a Luddite – but so often they make life more complicated.   Shopping on line is great, but I often think I’ve bought something only for the computer to freeze half way through and throw me out so that I have to start all over again or I discover that I have failed to click on the final button

As for the rules of relationships, I’m just glad that is all in my past.   In those far off days, when I worked in an office it was considered quite nice if a male colleague or boss complimented you on your hair or your dress.   As for wolf whistles – I used to find them very cheering on a dreary Monday morning – or maybe that was just me.   Today all of these are virtually criminal offences, although on dating websites it appears to be common practice to send photos of your genitalia to someone you fancy.   There is also a programme (and I hastily add that I have never seen it) called Naked Attraction and I believe it does exactly what is says on the tin!   The idea that one might end up in a relationship with someone based on what is commonly (and I use the word advisedly) referred to as a ‘Dick Pic’ seems to me to be totally at odds with the prudish attitude to office banter.   Obviously, there are shades of bad behaviour and no one should have to put up with anyone pushing the boundaries too far but I can’t help thinking that Mrs Pankhurst and all those redoubtable women at Greenham common might have dealt with things in a more robust manner.

My other peeve at the moment is the ‘Independent Inquiry’.   These seem to last for several years at the cost of hundreds of thousands of pounds and reams and reams of paper.   However, I’m pretty certain that they must be very popular with anyone who is on one.   What a wonderful job to chair a Public Inquiry – it must be money for old rope.   Admittedly you would have to sit through hours of meetings and probably read thousands of dreary emails but you would be paid a King’s ransom.   Unfortunately, I don’t think anyone is going to want me to head one of these – apart from the fact that I have the attention span of a gnat I would almost certainly nod off during the meetings.  Although would anyone notice?   At the end of the day these Inquiries produce reports.   Then people have to read them – although I have never met anyone who has ever read one.   Probably lawyers – who are used to reading through documents in incomprehensible language.   Presumably the recommendations are supposed to be implemented.   That must take many more years – if indeed it happens at all.   And of course, they all have to be translated into Welsh!   Really?   How many people who only read Welsh are going to read these reports?   Are they really translated into Welsh – maybe there is some very rich scammer somewhere who has claimed to write Welsh fluently and has written pages of gobbledegook – would anyone notice?

Just thinking about it all makes me think I need a stiff drink – but there again there is total confusion.   I read that the health benefits of drinking a glass of red wine a day are that it provides antioxidants, limits plaque buildup in your arteries, boosts HDL cholesterol (the “good” kind of cholesterol), and may reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke, and diabetes.   On the other hand women are told to drink no more than six small glasses of wine a week and to have at least two alcohol free days!   Is it any wonder I live in a state of permanent confusion?   What the hell – I’m going to go mad and have several glasses of wine!!!