I must be mad – there is no need to comment on that!!! I’ve bought a puppy. A black Labrador to join my other three. Puppies are adorable, who doesn’t love a puppy? Well, actually – me! I love my dogs when they are all grown up and reasonably well behaved – although I’m not sure what part of reasonably well behaved is covered by stealing an entire loaf of bread yesterday! But puppies are the worst. I have eight grandchildren and (on the whole) the older they get the nicer they get. They are attractive, intelligent, interesting and excellent companions. Puppies are little bundles of time wasters. They pee wherever and whenever. The slightest thing upsets their tummies. They start to behave like little angels and you tell the whole world that they are perfect and then they destroy your best pair of shoes! A friend of mine was telling me the other day that she had been so busy looking after her grandchildren that her puppies had missed out on quite a bit of training. Her grandchildren on the other hand walk nicely to heel and sit and stay on command.
It is now a few weeks into new puppy – so sweet and cuddly and she has already chewed through a telephone cable and nearly swallowed one of my earrings – I just managed to hoik it out of her mouth in time. She has also been rearranging the pots outside the back door by removing some of the plants. She seems to determined to trip me up and I can’t explain to her that her life will not be improved if I break my hip! But as they say there is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
The internet is full of dogs – cute dogs, savage dogs, neglected dogs, dog jokes. It is only too easy to waste hours of precious time looking at the stupid things. I have to make myself some rules – any reference to ‘fur babies’ and I move swiftly on! Dogs in cute outfits definitely make me feel a bit queasy – I think the young might say they give me the ick. Likewise film stars carrying their ‘teacup’ dogs everywhere – that’s not a dog that’s an accessory! Jokes and sayings on the other hand! Here are a few to brighten your day:
This morning I saw my neighbour talking to her cat, it was obvious that she thought the cat understood her… when I came home, I told my dog and we laughed a lot.
The later you get home the more pleased your dog is to see you.
The wetter the dog the warmer the welcome.
One thing dogs can teach you is humility. No sooner have you boasted about how well behaved your dog is than it will be sick all over the carpet. However, for some reason people often take pride in their dog’s bad behaviour – I have heard people brag of the time their dog did something terrible. Some friends had prepared tea for the local Women’s Institute and it was laid out in the dining room but unfortunately their Retriever had been shut in there and managed to eat 144 sausage rolls – quite an impressive feat – his owners were pretty annoyed at the time but often spoke of it with pride in the following years.
For some reason – and I have owned nearly twenty Labradors – and I always forget what a nightmare a puppy can be. I imagine they will be like this:
But the reality is this:
But I could never bear to be without a dog. Nothing else give you that unconditional love.
Has Anyone Seen My Glasses? 